I'm loving this ♥

love wordle.

So I kind of forgot about my blog. I think I just got caught up in other things, that it just sat here unused. Anyway, I think I'll start using it again :)

Summer. I dread it. I used to look forward to it and long for days free of school and friend drama. Now, it's my least favorite time of year. It now means being home. All summer. Alone. I know I'm not alone, I've got my family, a few scattered friends, and the Lord... but I'm in such a bubble of fellowship during the year that going home is like being stranded. 

I can choose to have a good or bad attitude about leaving, usually it ends up being bad. 

I've been home a week. In the time, the Lord has done so much with my heart. He's broken it, mended it, and lead it. He's taken away the obstacles that stand between us, and broken down the barriers my sinful nature has built. 

For the first time in a long time, I feel encouraged at home. I can see God working here, like He's always been... but I was too blinded by my bad attitude to see it.  I can already see that this summer is going to be a challenge... but the Lord is good and I trust in Him. 

The past week I've been thinking about a song we used to sing at youth group in high school based on Psalm 130...

"From the depths of woe i raise to Thee the voice of lamentation.
Lord, turn a gracious ear to me and hear my supplication.
If Thou iniquity dost mark, our secret sins and misdeeds dark,
O who shall stand before Thee?
Who shall stand before Thee?

To wash away the crimson stain, grace, grace alone availeth.
Our works, alas, are all in vain; in much the best life faileth.
No man can glory in Thy sight, all must alike confess Thy might
And live alone by mercy,
Live alone by mercy.

Therefore my trust is in the Lord and not it mine own merit.
On Him my soul shall rest, His Word upholds my fainting spirit.
His promised mercy is my fort, my comfort, and my sweet support.
I wait for it with patience.
Wait for it with patience.

And though I wait the live-long night and till the dawn appeareth
My heart still trusteth in His might; it doubteth not, nor feareth.
Do thus, o ye of Israel's seed, ye of the Spirit born indeed.
And wait till God appeareth,
Wait till God appeareth.

Though great our sins and sore our woes, His grace much more aboundeth.
His helping love no limit knows, our utmost need it soundeth.
Our Shepherd, good and true is He, who will at last His Israel free
From all their sin and sorrow,
All their sin and sorrow."


His promised mercy is my fort, my comfort, and my sweet support. I wait for it with patience.

I read through Hosea last week, and I just can't get over it. We constantly spit in the Lord's face, we turn away from Him and pursue other things,

but He loves us...

so much that He doesn't want to give us up. 

How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender.

I will not execute my burning anger, I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and not a man, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath. 

Hosea 11:8-9

I could go on... I just really love this picture...

And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justie, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.

Hosea 2:19-20

I came to a realization yesterday. 

As much as I thought I trusted the Lord with every part of my life, I noticed that I still held things back. I still wanted to control parts of my life. 

For example, I want to live off campus next year. My parents aren't so hot on the idea, which frustrated me to exhaustion. 

I started to focus on explaining why I wanted to live on campus and that if I didn't, I wouldn't have a place to live (if upperclassmen have to live off campus). 

I got so absorbed with my frustration that I forgot that it doesn't matter. 

If I don't get to live in a house next year with other CF girls, it's not the end of the world. The Lord will use me wherever I am. 

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose

Romans 8:28

I would like to be able to live off campus, but I know that it will all work out for His Kingdom. It might be hard, but I need to learn to give up this battle for control and trust that the Lord will take care of it and put me where He wants me.